For the love of humanity

I’ve been taking A LOT of time to self-reflect on what I can do to be a better human and white woman.

This includes examining the parts of myself I’d rather not confront: my complicity, microaggressions, and the people I surround myself with and why. It’s not enough for me to say I stand with you if I’m not actively working on myself and what I stand for.  

I get it. White privilege is hard for some people to wrap their heads around. The first place most people go when they deny it is to list all of the ways they were not privileged in life. It typically sounds like, “But wait, I grew up poor, or I experienced childhood trauma.” 

And, then, there’s a story to justify not having white privilege. I know because I did this, too. I immediately listed all of the ways I was not privileged to prove my point. I did this because I didn’t want to be seen as bad or flawed, and I didn’t want to feel the guilt associated with being labeled as a member of an oppressive group.

After all, I considered myself to be loving and compassionate to all beings. I wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone. Regardless, I have white privilege, and it’s not about me.

White privilege starts with the color of your skin.

As a white person, you’ve received the benefit of the doubt. You don’t live every day concerned about your safety and the safety of your children merely because of the color of your skin.

You don’t have to practice a safety script before you leave the house in case you get pulled over. In fact, you don’t get pulled over simply because the color of your skin makes you look suspicious. 

Being black, indigenous, or a person of color (BIPOC) in this world generates automatic suspicion.

White people will cross the street to avoid a group of black men.

White women will hold onto their purses tightly when in the presence of people of color.

Don’t even get me started with how we use the word ‘black’ and its connotations.

There are many more microaggressions against people of color that happen every day, often without a word being spoken. 

Then there are the ‘what about’ conversations that discredit systemic racism. What about Lebron James, Oprah, Obama, or Dave Chapelle? They’re black, and they’ve succeeded.

Yes!  You are correct.

And there are countless other people of color who are extremely successful.

And you’re missing the point.

They did not arrive at financial privilege because systemic racism no longer exists. They became financially successful despite it.

They have all experienced racism in their lives and will continue to experience it until our country changes its ways.

Reaching financial success doesn’t exclude you from racial injustice, nor does it mean it wasn’t encountered along the way.

What I believe it means is people of color have an abundance of resilience. 

And for the white people who say they don’t see color.

Please stop it.

Really. Now. Not seeing the color of someone’s skin sends the message that you don’t see them. It also devalues how they see you. This well-meaning comment can stop the dialogue of understanding. 

I share a similar sentiment about All Lives Matter. Yes, all lives matter.  However, you’re missing the point. If you support Black Lives Matter, you are supporting all lives. There’s no either or in this situation. You’re not denouncing one in favor of the other.

Until black lives matter, the statement of all lives matter isn’t true. 

One more share. I believe it’s great to show solidarity through protests and comments on social media. I believe it’s even better to do the work.

It’s no longer acceptable to not be racist. Now is the time to be anti-racist.

As with anything new, this takes time, energy, and a whole lot of self-reflection. 

This is slow and steady, intentional and deliberate work.

This isn’t a checklist to mark everything off the list sort of a movement. Doing the inner work to become anti-racist and an ally takes time and dedication. It goes further than reading all of the books and watching all of the documentaries. It encompasses a full-body visceral change so that you experience a new way of being and thinking. Pace yourself. Really dig in and do the work.

Then, calendar when you’ll actually do the work so you can impact change.

It’s not enough to only stand with people of color. 

A show of solidarity is only that, a show unless you’re also doing the work.

As white people, we’re overdue when it comes to using our voices and getting uncomfortable. Spoiler alert:  Racism isn’t going away tomorrow. Change takes time and consistent action.

This could look like educating a family member or friend about the significance of Black Lives Matter. Or donating to a trusted organization. Or using your social media presence to amplify the voices of BIPOC that you admire.

This isn’t easy.  You’ll make mistakes, and you’ll probably get your feelings hurt or get checked a time or two. Consider the experience to be growing pain, and learn from your mistakes so you can do better the next time.

The point is to educate ourselves and then do our best to spread awareness. This isn’t a black person’s fight. Creating a new policy, electing new political figures, and protecting our friends of color require all of our efforts.

What’s one action you can take today to learn more about systemic racism and how to work in the direction of anti-racism and ally? 

Need resources to get started? See below. 

Racial Injustice Resources - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/preview?pru=AAABcpZPsfQ*ddeO-M3_fbMbJUJn4XJQSA&fbclid=IwAR2E98Q9R0L3bWCBa47Rz6JkxFz94CLC4oNElt-Pi1nmpFj8LesFdZqDDzI

The Greater Good & Science Center - Anti-Racism Resources https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/antiracist_resources_from_greater_good?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=4dd1d41668-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_GG_Newsletter_June_4_2020&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-4dd1d41668-74692596

Justice in June. A guide to studying racism https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Amu25T-xzJe25yeL6sHiQeIntNBY_bT5N2l5uAbQYWc/edit?fbclid=IwAR1yVWXsg9D_cRsAETNtHDI-SgSMcHFUM4TKy92_PsAiUB3jX0zQFG0_Ih8

Anti-racism Resources https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1S5uckFHCA_XZkxG0Zg5U4GQGbY_RklZARwu43fqJH0E/mobilebasic?fbclid=IwAR1ys3ZLg1Gcn9IipKGWRVN3uWVMUAPEAh7OYzZU_UvWdEC1dy7utoCsSOc

An Inventory of White Violence Committed by Me - Meghan Cassidy https://www.meghancassidypractice.com/blog/an-inventory-of-white-violence-committed-by-me?fbclid=IwAR2f3LSpoAJjyb_GSG3FP5VKmEJppDRL1ig8JrJ-PiFzcWukUYiLFhc0NnQ

An Open Letter to My Non-Black Friends: My Life Matters More than Your Comfort https://www.thelily.com/an-open-letter-to-my-nonblack-friends-my-life-matters-more-than-your-comfort/?fbclid=IwAR103vpSzngFYfCQ0juT9mWcTAoBYUi4GhgZkbsxGtz6675um6I7531cgY4&utm_campaign=wp_lily_lines&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_lily

Highly Sensitive (HSP) Activist - Expansive Heart https://www.expansiveheart.com/blog/hsp-activist?fbclid=IwAR2JBhn1GyISwbds9D7wbQOzzD2xR9l79qLgJqNfVooJQ6f58LMh8gnnx6U

Racial Equity Institute https://www.racialequityinstitute.com/our-process

First Listen then Learn: Anti-racism for White People https://www.forbes.com/sites/juliawuench/2020/06/02/first-listen-then-learn-anti-racism-resources-for-white-people/#7486688216ee

White Women I’m Glad You’re Showing Up, But I’m Not Sure I Trust You Just Yet - Laura Cathcart/MSN https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/voices/white-women-im-glad-youre-showing-up-but-im-not-sure-i-trust-you-just-yet/ar-BB1523Em?li=BBnbcA0

Racial Microaggressions: Examples and Responses - Kristen Rogers/CNN https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/05/health/racial-microaggressions-examples-responses-wellness/index.html

By no means am I an expert on racial injustice, anti-racism, or being an ally. I have absolutely no idea what it's like to be a person of color. I'm learning, curious, and most importantly, listening and taking action...sometimes very clumsily.

What I do know is that I can see the injustice. It cries out to my soul and breaks my heart. And unless WE create a change, INJUSTICE will continue. This should NOT be happening in a country that was built on the foundation of the Land of the Free with ALL Men Created Equal. We are better than this.

Start the dialogue. Be Curious. Take Action.