If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.
The interesting thing here is that only you know what’s helpful for you. And what’s helpful for you may not be helpful for me. This tends to throw many people for a loop. You see, most of us are constantly seeking outside validation. “If they’re doing it this way and it works for them, then I need to do it too. And if I don’t? Well, then clearly, I’m not doing it the right way.” You’re not alone. I do it, too. It, uh, takes one to know one.
Cock-a-Doodle-Doom: What Roosters Teach Us About Anxiety
I learned on vacation that my nervous system's response to anxiety is not much unlike Richard the roosters. Well, sans the hoping into a tree. Here are three unconventional ways to help calm your nervous system that don't include perching on a limb or cock-a-doodle-doing.
Rewriting your inner script: the stories we tell ourselves
I have a running dialogue inside my head most of the time. I tell myself stories about everything. Sometimes, it's a creative endeavor that I sink into, but mostly, the stories are about myself and my experiences. I talk to my clients a lot about the stories they tell themselves. If they get still and quiet for a moment, what do they notice they're saying to themselves or about themselves? What do they observe?
Just Snap Out Of It!
Oh, just snap out of it. Yeah right! That phrase has worked how many times? Probably never. Well, not until now.
Celebrating Small Wins
It’s super easy for me to remember all of the times I messed up or said something that made me cringe when I thought back on it.
But taking stock of the times things went well…well, that just falls by the wayside and is swept away like it’s trash being cleared by my mental street sweeper.
Rested, Rooted, & Restored: It’s Retreat Time
Interrupting my usual musings to let you know I’m co-hosting a mini-retreat at Jiva Yoga Center. If you’re in the Hilton Head Island, South Carolina area, you’re invited to say goodbye (for now) to your to-do list, soak up relaxation and calm your nervous system. In only 90 minutes you’ll feel rested, rooted, and restored.
Tumblers, Toes, and Time Off: Resetting During Compassion Fatigue
Enduring Compassion Fatigue taught me (yet again) not to just preach Self-Care but practice it. But it also taught me the best method, which is to totally DISCONNECT.
When Mother’s Day isn’t a Celebration
Navigating the complex emotions that get stirred up on Mother’s Day. Not everyone has a Happy Mother’s Day. So what do you do if you’re a woman who’s always wanted to be a mom but isn’t, have lost a child, are estranged from your mother, or have experienced the death of your mother? For starters, be gentle with yourself.
Engine Lights & Self-Care
There’s nothing like it: a sunny, almost cloudless sky, nearly zero humidity, the wind gently blowing through my hair, and me putting on a sold-out concert in my car.
Until…
It shown brightly on an otherwise dark dashboard. My check engine light was on…again—the second time in a week. The bright orange engine indicator was all a glow.
F&**k!!!
Like my car, I, too, need a tune-up. Being true to form, I typically ignore the signs. Pretending it doesn’t exist. (Hand over eyes…la la la.)
This time, I’m tuning in. Here’s what I’m doing this time.
The Power of the Pause
I’m sure the idea of a pause sounds like a great idea. But that’s for other people, you say. The ones who have it all figured out and have somehow crafted or manifested this time. And also highly unlikely it will happen.
In our fast-paced world, the art of pausing has become an increasingly elusive skill. The relentless pursuit of productivity, the constant bombardment of information, and the stories you tell yourself about all of it make it challenging to embrace the quiet moments that can lead to profound personal growth.
Loving Yourself Like Your Pet Loves You
Have you ever met someone that melts your heart immediately and leaves you feeling relaxed just in their presence? What if that someone was you?
Okay, I sense an eyeroll moment. Or perhaps, I’m projecting because when I first considered this as a possibility, I may have scoffed and rolled my eyes too.
Navigating the Storm Within: A Guide to Managing Overthinking
Overthinkers unite! As we embark on this whimsical journey into the realm of overthinking, fasten your seatbelts (if only it were that simple) and prepare for a rollercoaster ride through the intricate corridors of our minds.
Holiday Headaches
…the American Psychological Association reports a 38 percent increase in stress during the holiday season among the people surveyed. Honestly, I’m shocked the percentage isn’t higher. It’s a whole lot of juggling for the jingle. And it’s one of the reasons I boycotted the holidays one year.
Festive Family Feuds: A Survival Guide
Instead of retelling another story about the how-tos of gratitude, let’s dive into those festive family feuds that flare up around the holidays. You know, the ones that can start with a simple disapproving look or a phrase known to stoke the flames of a disagreement. I’ve found that most of these comments usually remind us of how we’re not measuring up, and many are passive-aggressive.
Taking up Space
Take up space. She wanted us to take up space, and the mere thought of it made me uncomfortable. I felt a shiver run down my spine. There was an inner struggle with vulnerability and people-pleasing. And even though I was the host, I had no idea who would win this battle.
Life with a little less pressure
Bowie thought to write a whole song about it, only to later have Vanilla Ice use its iconic melodic hook. What am I talking about? Pressure. More importantly, we wear it like a badge of honor and self-worth. Or, in some cases, we have no idea the weight we’re carrying. What if we could live with just a tad less pressure in our lives?
Gaslighting : The Family Edition
Gaslighting can and does occur in families. Gaslighting most likely surfaces when you attempt to question a family member about their inconsistency, holes in their story, or questionable actions.
When Gaslighting Occurs in the Workplace
As my communications with management grew more, uh, interesting, I started to see a pattern. Gaslighting. Now, for the record, I don’t throw this word around lightly. I believe that some people can be merely assholes, have asshole moments, or need to inflate their sense of self for whatever deep-seated purpose.
Gaslighting: the series
Gaslighting can and does occur in families. Gaslighting most likely surfaces when you attempt to question a family member about their inconsistency, holes in their story, or questionable actions.
Couples, Arguments, and Reactions
Relationships can be confusing. We all have longings and desires. For many, it’s a longing for connection, to be understood and heard, and to know that our partner is there for us. When something happens within our relationships that creates distress and threatens our longings, we experience pain and fear. We begin to question our relationship, our love, our connection.