Holiday Headaches
Spending the holidays with family isn’t always the hallmark movie or Norman Rockwell painting we hoped to experience. Sometimes the magic isn’t so sparkly; instead of smelling like freshly baked gingerbread cookies, it smells of disappointment and bad decisions.
I’ll admit, I’ve had family holidays that I’ve boycotted, been uninvited, not invited, left in tears because I was angry, and left in tears because I was sad. Unlike those hallmark romcoms, there wasn’t a whirlwind conclusion - only a bad taste in my mouth and zero resolution.
In this month’s issue of CH2 Magazine, I talk about maintaining your wellness and coping with the holiday stress.
Here’s an excerpt:
“My parents divorced when I was five, so I’ve spent many years volleying between houses and experiencing multiple iterations of the same holiday. I mean, the extended holiday celebrations weren’t all that bad when I was younger.
But as I became older, the back and forth, family discord, and the stress of planning grew stale. There was only a glimpse of fun in our dysfunctional family. Much to the dismay of my family, I tapped out of the usual hot-mess Christmas gymnastics that had me traveling, consoling, and playing nice.
It didn’t go over well, but neither did holidays past. Only this stand would be more like ripping off the Band-Aid than slowly pulling out each hair one at a time. The pleas and crying soon turned to accusations of me being selfish and some other forms of passive-aggressive forte, which some of my family members execute with gold medal Olympian precision.
I held fast to my decision through it all, knowing I’d made the best choice that year. It wasn’t all tears and insults, though. The other half of my family nearly high-fived me through the phone for standing up for my wants and needs. There was a sense of solidarity and pride that they raised an independent thinker who was not afraid to buck the system. Families are fascinating that way.”
Click on the button below to read more.
Stay Curious,
Sheila Tucker, LMFT
Sheila Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Heart Mind & Soul Counseling. She empowers clients who overthink, worry, and experience their fair share of anxiety to become more rooted in peace, ease, and confidence. When not in the office, you'll find her walking her pups or planning her next mountain getaway with her husband.
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