Navigating the Storm Within: A Guide to Managing Overthinking
Let’s face it: we live in a fast-paced, go-go-go kind of world. There’s a constant barrage of information, responsibilities, and expectations that can easily lead our minds into overdrive.
Continually turning over and over all of your options - all of your problems, leaping to the worst-case scenario in a single bound and believing that this one decision is set in stone FOREVER. Overthinking is mentally and emotionally exhausting.
I can overthink with the best of them. I’m pretty sure I’d be eligible to compete in the overthinking Olympics. I might even secure an endorsement. My overthinking usually appears in the form of talking myself out of EVERY. SINGLE. THING. that was once a great idea.
It goes a little something like this. I’m super excited because I want to share quality information with as many people as possible in an effort to support and inspire hope, humor, and curiosity.
However, I have a lot of ideas. On the surface, this sounds like a good thing. Only it becomes overwhelming due to the vast number of topics to pick from. Then, when I choose one, I’ll start writing, only to decide I no longer like my choice. My mind tells me, “It’s been done before, what can I add to this topic, blah, blah, blah.”
If that’s not enough, I have other excuses too. The list is exhaustive and repeats, increasing in flare and creativity with each pass. In a flash, I’m caught in a cycle of overthinking self-defeat that has me at a standstill, feeling stuck and frustrated.
Removing myself from the hamster wheel isn’t always easy. It’s difficult to walk away when the wheel’s moving so fast you’ve fallen and are bumping up against the sides, only hoping it will slow down or you’ll bounce out.
There are, however, a few steps that are tried and true at slowing down the incessant mental chatter.
Disclaimer: These tips will not make you stop overthinking or make a decision for you. They will, however, provide you with a little distance from those thoughts. Sort of like going in the opposite direction when you see that one neighbor you don’t want to chat with coming your way.
Acknowledge and Acceptance:
Like with most things, the first step in managing overthinking is acknowledging its presence. Hi, there, overthinking. Accept that overthinking is a natural part of the human experience, and you are not alone in this struggle.
Here’s the unfortunate truth: you cannot stop yourself from thinking.
To quote Jon Kabat-Zinn, “It’s what minds do.” He should know he holds a Ph.D. in molecular biology, is a professor of medicine emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, and founded Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).
Here’s the fortunate part: you can choose what you pay attention to.
Anchoring in the Present Moment:
Before your mind starts to tell you that you can’t, under any circumstances, meditate, hear me out. My experience has been game-changing with meditation. However, there is no requirement to meditate. I will not show up at your home and make you sit cross-legged with your eyes closed for hours on end.
Instead, how about an agreement to try gentle mindfulness? Two of my favorite techniques to distance from spiraling thoughts are grounding through your senses and tracing your hand.
Grounding through your senses involves naming three things you can see, smell, taste, touch, and feel (as in tactically, like the clothes on your body or wind on your face). Repeat as often as you want.
Tracing your hand involves two things only - your hand and your breath. Pick a hand, any hand, to trace, and use your pointer finger from your other hand to trace.
Starting at the base of your thumb, inhale as you trace your thumb to its tip and exhale as you follow your thumb down the other side. Continue to inhale as you follow your fingers up to their tips and exhale as you move down the other side. Repeat as often as you’d like.
Smaller Steps:
I tend to get caught up in the big picture. When I think of all the steps to get there, I can easily become overwhelmed, overthink, and shut down. I imagine I’m not alone in complicating a not-so-complicated task.
Break down larger tasks or problems into smaller, manageable goals. If it still feels too big, see if you can break it down even smaller. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and give yourself credit for progress. Small steps forward lead to big results, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the moment.
Challenge Negative Thoughts:
Overthinking is often fueled by negative thoughts and irrational fears. It makes sense. You can protect yourself from mental and emotional harm by remembering your bad experiences.
Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. I also want to suggest you take a moment to spend just as much time on the potential for positive outcomes as negative.
Managing overthinking is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. Remember, small steps lead to significant progress, and with time and practice, you can navigate the storm within and find peace in the present moment.
Stay Curious,
Sheila Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Heart Mind & Soul Counseling. She empowers clients who overthink, worry, and experience their fair share of anxiety to become more rooted in peace, ease, and confidence. When not in the office, you'll find her walking her pups or planning her next mountain getaway with her husband.
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