Celebrating Small Wins

Finn casually sitting on the back of the sofa. As you can tell, he has a lot of personality.

I took the dog outside and gave my husband a treat.

Let me explain.

It started many years ago, giving my dog at the time Montana, a treat when she came inside.

She had a LOT of energy, selective hearing, and an uncanny ability to locate the marsh.

She always came back.

Exhausted.

Often, her blonde legs covered in pluff mud like she’d been dipped into the marsh. Think chocolate covered strawberries but with a salty pungent smell. 

At some point, I began giving her a ton of praise and treats whenever she came back - whether on her own or through recall. It began to work like a charm. 

After Montana passed away, I continued the same routine with Louie and Finn.

They go out and get a treat when they come back inside.

They know the drill so well they will remind me if I forget. 

Which Finn did on this particular day when I tossed my husband the dog treat instead of Finn.

In my defense, I was tired. 

And it made me think. When was the last time I gave myself a treat - like a good ole fashioned high five? How about you? When was the last time you acknowledged your well-done moments? 

If you’re anything like me, it may have been awhile. 

It’s super easy for me to remember all of the times I messed up or said something that made me cringe when I thought back on it. 

But taking stock of the times things went well…well, that just falls by the wayside and is swept away like it’s trash being cleared by my mental street sweeper. 

Am I right? 

Your ability to hang onto the one negative thing is meant to be lifesaving. Imagine stepping off the sidewalk and into a busy intersection without looking both ways. In the process, you’re nearly hit by a car. 

Well, the next time you encounter a busy intersection, you’ll look both ways because who needs the adrenaline rush of imminent bodily harm. 

It’s much the same way with remembering all the times you felt like you messed up. Those times serve as a way to keep you safe from embarrassing yourself. And ultimately, the possibility of being left out, kicked out of the group, or abandoned. 

The next time you have a similar encounter, you’ll likely try a different approach. Or you may avoid the situation altogether.

So here’s my challenge for you. 

Notice when things go well or okay in your life.

It can be simple like all green lights on your way to work. Or more complex, like your child got ready for school without complaining (much). 

Then celebrate the event.

Say to yourself or out loud, “Yes! All green lights!” Or, “woo hoo! Someone actually put the dishes in the dishwasher and it wasn’t me!”

The misses…they’re gonna happen. It’s a part of being human. 

But so are all the times you’re getting it right. Shine a little light and love in that direction for the next few days and see what happens. 

Then let me know.  I’d love to hear from you. 

Stay Curious,

Sheila

Sheila Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Heart Mind & Soul Counseling. She empowers clients who overthink, worry, and experience their fair share of anxiety to become more rooted in peace, ease, and confidence. When not in the office, you'll find her walking her pups or planning her next mountain getaway with her husband.  

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