Letting Go - Like Autumn Leaves
It’s Autumn in the Lowcountry, although it’s difficult to tell when the humidity is still reaching questionably high percentages. Clutching onto our flannels, candles, and coffee, hoping the allure of the pumpkin spice is enough to call forward cooler weather. (Or, in my case, the hot apple cider with a side of ginger snaps. #teamapplecider)
Or, maybe even entice the leaves on the trees to turn into brilliant shades of yellow, orange, and red. Then, before you know it, they're released from the limb's hold to float effortlessly to the supporting ground below. It's a collective tree exhale - a letting go.
Honestly, there’s no grand show of fall here at the beach. No great demarcation of a season change. As I look out the window right now, I see my quirky tree full of leaves. Not a one taking on a shade of anything other than green. And yet, I’m still inspired to talk about the act of letting go.
So, in a paradoxical shift, I’ll ask you to hold on tightly to the tree losing its leaves image as I simultaneously talk about the art of letting go of the things that are no longer working in your life.
Trees are interesting. They don't hang on tightly to their leaves. And yet, come spring, new buds appear. Leaves grow, and shades of green replace barren limbs. There’s something within the tree that tells it to let go of its leaves, just like there’s something within us that tells us it’s time to give up that thing that’s no longer serving our greater good.
However, unlike the trees, we often find ourselves holding onto things, people, and emotions with such a tight grip. Unable or unwilling to release the weight of what we're carrying so we can start anew. Yet, a profound and liberating art exists of letting go of the burdens that weigh us down, allowing us to embrace the freedom and possibilities that lie ahead.
It's super easy to let go of many things. For instance, at least once a week, I'll reach for a hot pan as my oven mitt is slipping. Nothing says release faster than a bit of heat touching your skin. And that one time when I was new to bike riding, and I mastered a two-second hands-free ride. It was quite an exhilaration.
Unfortunately, these aren’t the “letting gos” I’m referring to. I’m talking about taking a deeper look at those ideas, beliefs, and stories you tell yourself about yourself. The ones where the inner critic has wrangled the microphone out of your intuition’s hand and is yelling not-so-helpful comments in your ear. Just me? My inner critic does not have an inside voice.
I’ll admit I’m not as quick to let things go. There’s a comfort in the known, even if it’s no longer good or warranted or working for me the way it used to. I know how that storyline will end, and I can prepare for the eventual disappointment. While also never being caught off guard.
While letting go is tricky, knowing when it’s time to let go is equally challenging. A few questions to consider:
Does this thing or idea I’m holding onto help me in any way? Is it encouraging or joyful?
Does it help or motivate me to move in the direction of my goals and desired outcomes?
Does the thought of it make me cringe?
If you decide to let go of something that no longer benefits you, like negative self-talk, try replacing it with something that does benefit you. For example, I’m going to let go of putting pressure on myself and instead show myself compassion (in the form of acknowledging the pressure and giving myself permission to rest or play).
More than likely, the unhelpful thought or belief you’d like to let go of will come back. So, you’ll have plenty of time to practice doing or thinking the thing you’d rather do or think instead.
A few first steps in letting go can look like:
Noticing and acknowledging what’s no longer working in your life
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of what once worked but no longer does
Reconnect to yourself to better understand what does work and how you can incorporate more of that into your life.
One key pointer: Keep in mind that the trees don't lose all their leaves at once. It's a gradual release. The same goes for you and me. You don't have to release anything you’re not ready to let go of. And you certainly don’t need to let go of everything all at once.
Letting go is about releasing regrets and forgiving ourselves (and others). By practicing letting go, we can lead more fulfilling, meaningful lives and experience the profound sense of liberation that comes with unburdening our hearts and minds.
So, take a deep breath, summon your courage, and begin the journey of letting go. In doing so, you may discover a world of boundless possibilities waiting to be explored.
Be kind to yourself.
