The Tug-of-War Between Change and Staying the Same
You’re not the boss of me,” I mumbled under my breath, not wanting to do the thing I told myself I should do. Truth be told, I also utter this phrase when I know I want to change something about myself or my situation, but I don’t.
Or I do, but it’s incredibly short-lived. The difference between me and the 5-year-old is that he does the thing.
It’s a lot like New Year’s resolutions. You resolve to drink more water, go to the gym, eat better, or have date nights with your partner. But you’re running at full speed ahead, and until you’re not, you find yourself returning to your old habits.
Or, in therapy, there’s something that you want to do differently. You want to decrease your anxiety or communicate better with your partner. Only the progress feels slow, or the old habits creep back in, and before long, you feel stuck.
One thing I know that’s true about resolutions, whether therapeutic or New Year: They require some sort of change.
3 reasons therapy might not be a good fit for you (right now)
Therapy can be an incredible experience of growth and personal insight. It can help you to learn new skills, a new way of looking at what's going on in your life, and how to form a better relationship with yourself and others. I can literally go on for hours talking about the benefits of therapy; however, I will not. Instead, let's talk about why therapy may not be a good fit for you…at least not right now. Let me start with a caveat.
Using SMART Goals to Usher in the New Year!
How about we change it up this year? Instead of making some well-intentioned resolutions that you'll likely stop doing by, say, January 5th, how about you set an actual attainable goal and create a real plan? I'm talking about accountability. My favorite way to do this is by setting SMART goals.
Diving Off The High Dive
You don't realize how high up you really are until your toes are gripping the edge of the board. As you're staring at the tops of the trees, the pool seems so far away. This seemingly simple measure of fun and excitement now takes on a feeling of fear with your heart in your throat. The reality, it only takes one small step to hurl yourself into the deep end. And yet, you're frozen. Too frightened to move forward and equally afraid to admit defeat. What do you do?