3 reasons therapy might not be a good fit for you (right now)
Therapy can be an incredible experience of growth and personal insight.
It can help you to learn new skills, a new way of looking at what's going on in your life, and how to form a better relationship with yourself and others. I can literally go on for hours talking about the benefits of therapy; however, I will not.
Instead, let's talk about why therapy may not be a good fit for you…at least not right now. Let me start with a caveat.
This isn't permission to NOT seek help, and it's definitely NOT permitted to use one of these reasons as a veiled excuse to not address a pressing issue.
Asking for help is not weak. It's a sign of strength and a way to form a support network that has your back.
1. You don't want to do the work between the sessions.
Therapy isn't just showing up to your appointments and sharing with your therapist. Therapy involves taking the concepts that you've learned about yourself and the new skills you've obtained and then applying them to your life. It's an investment in yourself, and it takes work. If you're not willing to put forth the effort, then now may not be the time.
2. Someone is MAKING you go to therapy, or you feel forced.
I don't know about you, but I often find myself feeling resentful and a little defiant when I feel forced into something. Therapy calls for an open mind and curiosity, not being shut down.
This may be a time when you agree to attend therapy with the other person as a sign of support and for a limited number of sessions while not entering into a therapeutic relationship with the therapist. In other words, you make a certain number of guest appearances solely to offer support or insight, but it's not your therapy.
3. You're only looking for advice.
A therapist will not give you advice. You heard me correctly. No advice. Instead, a therapist will help you weigh your options, offer suggestions, and provide feedback based on prior discussions. We also don't have magic wands, magic potions, or that one technique that will solve all of your problems. To quote Ariana Grande, "Sorry, not sorry."
Now, there are several other reasons people decline to receive help through therapy. So, let me take a moment to call BS on a few of my favorites. I only call BS because usually, when these excuses are used, it's because the person just doesn't want to go to therapy. AND THAT'S OK.
I don't have the time.
OK, hear me out on this one. We make time for the things we want to do. If you really want to do it, you'll find the time. And with telehealth options available via video, phone, and text…there's bound to be an option that can work with your schedule.
It's too expensive.
Yes, therapy can be expensive. And yes, there are options. Check your area for organizations that provide free or reduced-fee services. The Department of Mental Health is an excellent place to start.
You can also look into using your insurance, submitting for reimbursement to your insurance company, using your HSA, or inquiring about a sliding scale. Finally, you can look at your finances to ascertain where you may be able to make a few budget cuts to afford therapy while you're in need. Personally, investing in myself has been money well spent.
I should be able to handle this myself
No, not necessarily.
And if you could have, you would have. If you find that the same issues are cropping up time and time again, they're interfering with your quality of life, and you've either tried everything or keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result…then it's time to ask for help.
You don't have to tackle your problems or concerns alone. Therapy can and does help.
Here's the good news: ultimately, only you can decide whether you're ready for or want to receive therapy. Either way, please know that it's available whenever you are ready.
If you're in the Hilton Head or Bluffton areas and are considering therapy, please contact me through my website at https://www.heart-mind-soul.com/contact. If I'm not able to help, I'll provide referrals for a therapist who can.
Take care
