Self-care spikes my anxiety (sometimes)
Yep. It’s true.
The struggle is real. Not all the time.
However, self-care can and does sometimes spike my anxiety.
This is what happens. I will take a yoga class or a nap. Then at the conclusion of my self-care time, I’ll be bitchy. There’s a realization that I only have so many hours left in my day to do all the things I think I need to do.
All of a sudden, time is not my friend, and everything must be done urgently. This is also the time other tasks magically appear that I believe need to be added to my to-do list.
I should probably mention that I’ve created a to-do list that even the most organized, motivated, non-procrastinating, and jacked-up person would have trouble completing.
And that doesn’t matter. I should be able to get it all done. Other people can get it all done. Okay, so really, they can’t. However, my anxious mind wants to hear none of that. Basically, I’m beating myself up for taking time for myself.
My mind’s instantly filled with "shoulds" and "coulds.” I should’ve managed my time more efficiently. I could’ve spent that time doing something work-related, but now I’m behind. I’m frustrated with myself and easily annoyed.
You know, the feelings we aim for immediately after self-care? (She says with sarcasm) Ugh!
It took me a while to figure out what was going on. One day it was glaringly obvious that I was anxious. Then, slowly, I began to notice the pattern.
Somewhere, I learned the message that I don’t deserve to have this time for myself, even though I know all the benefits of practicing self-care! My time is to be spent making sure the needs of others are met and fulfilling unrealistic expectations I have for myself.
Our society is based on doing. The more you do – the better you are. There’s not a lot of mention about being – as in being present and appreciating what’s around you.
I continue to work on my mindset. I meet it with curiosity and a lot of self-kindness. For those of you out there who also experience self-care-related anxiety, here are a few tips and tricks to help tame the anxiety monster.
Notice the thoughts that come up before and after you take time for yourself.
Are these thoughts helpful or unhelpful?
For the unhelpful ones, picture them as words strung together or a picture, then watch as it floats away, or imagine the same on your phone and swipe left.
While practicing self-care:
Go slowly. Start with 60 seconds of your time. You can stretch, walk around, notice your breathing, whatever you want. The goal is to be intentional for the entire 60 seconds.
Pick a consistent time that works for you. I like to meditate in the mornings right after I wake up. (Oddly enough, no self-care-related anxiety after meditation) Other times that have worked are lunchtime before you walk into or out of your office or right before bedtime. The goal here is to pick a time where you wouldn’t otherwise be working or doing.
You don’t have to practice self-care every day.
There’s not one way to practice taking time for yourself.
So what about you? Have you ever experienced anxiety after taking time for yourself? Does self-care seem like a buzzword that doesn’t apply to your life? Or maybe you’re legitimately too busy to even think about self-care?
If it seems as though symptoms of anxiety are taking over, contact a therapist in your area for a consultation. If you’re in the local area, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation. I can be reached by phone at 843-592-3998, by email at sheila@heart-mind-soul.com, or through the contact form on my website at https://www.heart-mind-soul.com.
