Anxiety Sucks
At least, that’s been my experience.
Judgmental and self-critical thoughts swirl around yelling, “You’re not enough, not good enough. You have no idea what you’re doing. You should know what you're doing. You’re an imposter. Other people have it more together than you do. You never know the right thing to say. Life comes is so much easier for everyone else”.
In the midst of high anxiety, it’s hard to hear that “you hold all the answers” and other flowery BS stuff. Intellectually, we get that. But right now, when our mind is jumbled, and we’re not able to make sense of life in general…we need help. Only we don’t know what we need and therefore don’t know how to ask.
Not that we would ask for help. This is when we begin to tell ourselves other stories like “I don’t want to bother anyone, and there are people with worse problems than mine.”
Nonetheless, at the heart of it, we want answers. We want to know what to do to make this stop. We want to know how to calm our minds and find a little bit of peace in the midst of the chaos. (For tips on calming an anxious mind, click here.)
Personally, on most days, I’m okay with a busy mind. I’m so used to it. It’s like having a constant companion. I have a problem when it turns hurtful. So, instead of hearing it like background noise, we receive it as truths being broadcast over a loudspeaker and delivered directly into our souls.
That’s when we forget to stop to think about what we’re consuming.
There’s no pause button that allows us to attempt to argue our case or dismiss these statements as unbelievable hot air.
No, we believe each and every one of those hurtful, and unhelpful statements.
Each one cuts deeper and deeper, becoming more and more believable and unknowingly shaping our entire being. Does this sound familiar?
I’m not sure about you, but I don’t want to live this way. Most of us will admit we don’t want to overthink, dwell on how it could all go wrong, and then find subtle examples of how it’s true.
At the same time, personally, I don’t want to give it up either. There are strengths in anxiety. Stay with me on this one.
Anxiety reminds us of how invested we are in ourselves. We wouldn’t be worried about it if we didn’t care.
Anxiety lends itself to planning. At a moment’s notice, we can think of all the ways “it” can go wrong while simultaneously preparing for every worst-case scenario.
Anxiety lends itself to being creative. As an example, bring to memory one of the many stories you’ve told yourself about what might happen in the future or what you think another person thought about you. See, you’re creative.
In the right dose, anxiety can be a motivator. For example, a little bit of anxiety will help you to stay focused on completing the presentation you’re delivering for work.
This list is not exhaustive; mostly, anxiety reminds me that what I’m doing is important and I may be on the cusp of something really amazing.
I picture anxiety as this little scared character that’s trying its hardest to keep me safe…from myself. It doesn’t want me to fail or be harshly judged or criticized.
Instead, it wants me to succeed and be lovable. So, anything outside of the norm is scary. If there’s a risk of being subject to failure, rejection, and criticism, anxiety will yell, scream, intimidate, and bully to get me to stop doing what it thinks could be harmful.
Anxiety can be very convincing. It can lead us to believe that it knows what’s best. But it doesn’t. It knows how to keep us confined to our safe little space, prohibiting us from growing and stretching outside of our comfort zone.
Anxiety would prefer we continue to relive the same experiences over and over again – no surprises.
The idea of only living in the land of the known and controlled can be enticing, but it also means giving up adventure, excitement, and new experiences. I don’t know about you, but writing that statement made me feel a little bored and sad.
There’s no need to live a life limited by perceived future failures that we believe to be true. Although we cannot eradicate your anxiety, therapists can help you reel it in and tame it so that life becomes more manageable.
I provide therapy services for stressed-out and overwhelmed people who mostly have their shit together and tend to overthink or give up until exhausted. There’s a tendency to place other people’s needs ahead of their own, limit themselves due to the fear of being judged or criticized, and, in the process, lose the connection to themselves. It sounds like someone you know…maybe you?
Are you ready to live confidently and authentically? I can help. I invite you to reach out and schedule a 20-minute free consultation. I can be reached by phone at 843-592-3998, by email at sheila@heart-mind-soul.com, or through the contact form on my website at https://www.heart-mind-soul.com.
