3 Ways to Navigate the Holidays if You’re an Introvert

The holidays are typically a time when we see an uptick in our social calendars. While this can be an exciting time to connect and reconnect with friends and family, it can also be equally draining.

Being an introvert at this time of year can be tricky, especially with the expectations, events, shopping, and family gatherings. First, let me dispel a couple of myths about introversion.

Many introverts like people and socializing. Really...we do. The difference is that we get overwhelmed or exhausted if we have to be “on” for a long time. If you’re also a highly sensitive person, go ahead and multiply that by no less than two.

What we want most is 5 minutes of silence, preferably alone. We'll get bonus points if we can create a little space between transitions. Personally, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve excused myself for a bathroom break so I could simply stand in silence...alone.

As an introvert and a highly sensitive person, I require downtime to recharge, refresh, and refuel. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this way of being. To some, it may seem non-social or even too sensitive.

Nonetheless, I need breaks from time to time, or I am useless to anyone, most importantly, myself. Below are three ways I strive toward during the holiday season or any other busy season that unfolds.

Make space and prioritize.

The holiday season creates a lot of opportunities to attend events and gatherings. Here’s a secret: You don’t have to attend everything you’re invited to. Right? No doubt there will be events that necessitate your attendance. Then there are the others that you want to attend and the ones you don’t.

Take a moment to discern which category your event falls into. Another secret: Your attendance is not necessary at ALL of the activities. Now, prioritize and calendar which gatherings you’ll be attending, making sure to include free space around each event.

For example, it may look like no more than 2 events in a day with enough buffer between the activities that you have time to recharge. Or it could be no more than 3 events per week. Whatever works best for you.

Say No.

It’s okay to say no, and it’s okay not to do all of the things. I get it. Saying no can feel vulnerable and like you’re letting someone down. At the same time, how present will you really be with this person if you’re overextended?

Saying no means having an honest and heartfelt conversation. One that sounds like, “I would love to have coffee with you, but my schedule will not allow for it this week.” In the long run, people typically respect your honesty. And it also allows you to be true to yourself and honor where you are physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Create an escape plan.

This sounds way more dramatic than it really is. It’s merely the notion to create, in advance, a way to insert more downtime. This is especially true if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

An escape plan can look like deciding in advance when you’ll leave a party. For example, make a plan to stay for an hour, then reassess or come up with a code word so your partner knows it’s time to go. It can also look like excusing yourself to go to the bathroom for a few deep breaths and a whole lot of solitude.

Bonus Tip:

Schedule one small thing you enjoy doing every day. This may include meditation, yoga/stretching, going for a walk, reading for 5-10 minutes, or journaling. The activity should take as much or as little time as you have.

It doesn’t create a sense of feeling rushed. It brings about a sense of calm and can be done wherever and whenever. Most of all, this will be an activity that creates a sense of wellbeing and feeling refreshed.

Keep in mind the holidays are experienced on a learning curve. Read: self-compassion and self-kindness will go a long way.

Over time, you’ll begin to notice what works for you and nurtures your introverted (and highly sensitive) soul. The more you learn, the more you’ll be able to remain entirely in the present moment, free to enjoy better the company of those you love and hold dear.

Happy (peaceful & rested) holidays!